when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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