marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
