I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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