turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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