i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
