She's JV to your varsity
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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