She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
