Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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