you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
