watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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