So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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