You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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