I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
