the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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