Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
