You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
