For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
