Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
