do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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