so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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