So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
