He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
