So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You are a genius and a whore.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
