You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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