I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
