I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
