Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
