If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My dick has a subreddit
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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