After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
