Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize