Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
