Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
is it fun? or sober?
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