so explain again why im purple
no
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
