you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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