woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
