Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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