i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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