it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
