My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
