it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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