meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
