I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
