she woke up with a sticky ear
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
