The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
