You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
