the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
