Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
