just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
