bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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