You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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