You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize