It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
