He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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