whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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