She's JV to your varsity
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
