yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I look better un-naked...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
