are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
