I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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