awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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