i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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