Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
