Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
