We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
