Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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