I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
