Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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