Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
