who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
