porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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