Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
