Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
