she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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