I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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