Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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