Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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