bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize