Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
